So… How’s The Book Coming Along?

That’s the number one question I’ve been asked by friends and acquaintances. To many, it probably seems like we should already have our book up on the shelves. It does feel like that, right?

Let me tell you, there is a part of my ego that wanted this book on the shelves a year ago, but there is a bigger logic and reality that takes place through our journey. The kind requiring surfboards for both Alex and me to surf spontaneously through many waves unpredictably monopolizing and interrupting our flow of creation.

You know, things like “Mercury in Retrograde,” negotiations, content restructure, people with scheduling conflicts, recruiting the best contributors in the field, interviewing, filtering and everything else that it takes to make a big deal happen.

That’s what this book is to us, by the way. A big deal.

Long Live that “Gut Feeling”

Once upon a time, I wanted to write a book. I’m sure I could have written a book, self-published and called it a day. But that’s not what I wanted. That wasn’t the process. Not according to my gut. Not according to my ethereal connections. If you’re a person of faith, you know that between the spirits of your family and ancestors, angels and, above all, your Maker, there is a lot of work going on up there to help you get to where you need to be while living on the third rock from the sun.

Most of the time, we aren’t conscious about any happenings up in Heaven.  Some of us are so focused on maximizing on our free will that we don’t always understand why things don’t go exactly as we orchestrate it to happen in our minds. I’ve learned over the years that when my gut tells me which way to go, I don’t challenge it, though my brain commands me to. I listen. If these are spiritual tugs and pulls, I consciously acknowledge them, and then see what happens next. It’s an adventure, and every time this happens, it has lead my desert sandy, parched mouth to refreshingly cool, delicious water.

When my idea for writing this book came about, my instinct pulled me to contact Alex. My Earthly ego assumed Alex would say “no” to my request in her co-authoring due to her own demands, schedules and experiences in her own writing world, coaching and teaching career. But I called anyway.

Been hydrated since.

The American Way

Alex and I called so many people to engage in our concept within the first two years. Tons of calls and teleconferences were held. So many interviews. So many emails. And waiting.


Lots of waiting. But we knew that sometimes you just have to wait. You can’t force a great thing to happen. Can’t pull the petals open from a closed flower without damaging it. The flower must blossom in its own time for survival.

While we waited for responses, we worked on our personal and professional lives. We stayed in communication with our friends, family and networked our tails off. (We still do.) We fell sick, had personal emergencies and financial strains while investing, promoting and fulfilling our quest. All this, while satisfying life-demands that help us keep our bills paid. We are an example of two women who are going about attaining a goal the American Way: approaching every goal with hard work, dedication and crazy passion. It’s the formula for success.

Adds Alex, “Millions of texts, emails and phone calls, late nights, carpal tunnel, several black-outs and two years later, we’re still going strong. I thought I was driven, but with Anita as my Co-Author, Business Partner and Book Wife (yes, we even took vows) I met my match.  She has this incredible vision of the final product and I trust her instincts impeccably.  I’m grateful that she proposed this relationship book journey to me, that I accepted and that we’re giving each other what the other needs to carry out this goal.  While I knew what it meant to be a business leader – two decades of Corporate America will teach you that – what I’ve learned in this process is how to be better in my  relationships with others. I owe that to Anita.”

We came from a humble, modest life and we learned the value of never giving up.  We watched our immigrant parents work with what they had to build what they have today, so we get it. We won’t whine (though we’d like to). We won’t bitch (though sometimes moments heckle us to). We know that, in time, we’ll get there.

In fact, we are closer to the end; we’re in our final stretch.

Practicing Patience

We recruited about 50 people to play a part in our book, and it took about two years (and a lot of communication and writing) to get there. I think back to the days I wrote my emails to so many possible opportunities, not really knowing if that party would give us a chance. Days and weeks would go by as I’d wait for a response. Sometimes months. It’s like being that tenacious salesman. You never throw away a potential client. One day they’ll respond, I thought. One day. And they did. In time, they all came together. And when they did, we knew our journey had to go at the pace it was going. Looking back, it all had to happen the way that it had to happen. Brick by brick, we are laying our foundation.

I rely a lot on my instinct when it comes to who I want to work with and who would be a great fit for the task. Alex does too.  This is why we work together. When it doesn’t jive, you can’t force it to work. You simply waste time. If we have to spend more than two conversations re-explaining a concept, or hearing conflicting opinions on a process that has already been decided, we know we’re wasting their and our time, so we forge ahead. When it clicks, we can feel the connection and the flow of communication. Feels amazing. I’d guess it to be like the movie Avatar‘s Na’vi tribe’s braid connection with their horses and flying “ikran” birds; there’s an indescribable adrenaline rush once the connection is made. Only then can moving forward happen.

Time: The Greatest Gift

Late last year we recruited all our Male Panelists and received all of their honest and incredibly thoughtful responses. The beginning of 2012 we incorporated our co-author and professional coach, Frankie Doiron. As we enter Spring we anticipate springboarding (pardon the pun) our work to our editor, and collecting any last minute writings.

Summer is our season to wrap up and go to market.

And in just saying that, I feel kinda emotional. We’re so much closer to a dream coming to life, and I bear witness to it. So many people came forth to help us get there. So many rallying around to see us make our dream happen. It’s humbling and amazing. Sure, it’s been a two-year journey, but every step has been worth it. As in any journey, we packed our proverbial bags and set out to reach our destination. Along the way,  we visited our fantastic friends and met new amazing people. It’s been one heck of a thrill ride, and we’ve only just begun.

Stay tuned. There’s more to come. And thank you all so much for always wanting to know where we are at.

How’s the book coming along? It’s coming along wonderfully.

We know you can’t wait, but like a great wine, we can’t hurry up a delicious experience. Once The Dating GPS™: Guys, Pricks and Sweethearts is in your hands, you’ll be glad we took the time for you.

Your children, when they reach that dating age, will be glad too.

And so will theirs…

and theirs…

and theirs….




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